Friday, September 16, 2016

Freshman Year - Be aware Moms....


Do you have a Freshman girl in High School?  Well I do & I am soooo grateful that I have the relationship that I do with her up to now.  

I have always tried to build a very good relationship with both of my daughters in the hopes that they can always know that they can count on me, talk to me about anything, know that I will have an open mind or try to and give them the best advice that I know how.  I sit here thinking to myself how this was a story that needed to be told and I had to tell it before I went to bed tonight.  

Well, today I was super grateful and I will tell you why....

Today I went to drop off my oldest with a group of friends who gathered for a study group for there physics class.  It was a group of 10 students who truly help each other out and am happy because it is a group of kids with very good grades.  As I dropped off my oldest, I decided to have some mother/daughter bonding time with my 15 year old and go have pizza at a new pizza place in town.  As we were sitting at the table, after we placed our order, she looked at me and told me "Mom, you know how I always tell you things?" & of course, I replied "Yes," as I was thinking inside of me, "Oh No, what is she about to tell me & am I ready for it?" She proceeds to tell me "Well, today I decided that I really do not want to go & I am glad that you have not allowed me to go to the high school football games because I found out about a club called the Freshman 500."  So I, of course, do not think much about it and ask her what is the Freshman 500.  She then tells me that it's a club for boys to see who can have the most sex with girls Freshman year in high school and if they have it at a football game they will get more points and end up getting $500.
I was in shock.  I was trying not to freak out totally in front of her thinking OMG!!!  Then I had lost a bit of my appetite for pizza.  Also thought..."DEAR GOD, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR HAVING HER FEEL SO COMFORTABLE WITH ME & BE SO HONEST & JUST TELL ME THINGS, EVEN THOUGH THEY PUT ME IN COMPLETE SHOCK & I MIGHT END UP HAVING A POSSIBLE HEART ATTACK"... Then I think to myself "$500?...  Where would kids even get that kind of money?...Is this someone lying to her?  Pulling a prank?... And for heavens name, the fact that they are even thinking of such things is horrible"

As we keep talking & I with my ears open completely wide & my mind & body are completely focused on this conversation with her, she tells me that this girl that she knows but stays away from because the girl dresses inappropriate (which I love when she says that) and the girl also is very easy with boys & has already had sex with boys, came up yelling, like happy but in shock, that she was part of the club.  All I am thinking is "HUH?"  Apparently, this girl saw nothing wrong with the fact that she was one of the girls, that one of the boys had sex with and was trying to reach the highest number.  ONCE AGAIN, MY MIND IS SAYING "OMG...OMG...OMG" We proceed to have the conversation and of course, I talk to her & let her know how super proud I am of her & how grateful & happy that I am that she feels she can talk to me about these things. 

I then talk to her about how boys will say things just to see what they can get from a girl, how once a girl has a bad reputation everyone will know and if a person hangs out with a person like that then people will perceive to believe that everyone around that person is just as easy & the same.  I explain to her about how the time is going to come that I will allow her to go to games and how careful she must be and never stay alone or go alone to the bathroom. How she can not trust or just be with a boy alone or her be the only girl in a group of boys and soooo much more.  I am not sure if some of you may think it is a bit too much but I have always felt that I rather be honest and warn my daughters about the worse and have them think twice about an action.  I always tell them every action has a consequence in everything in life and one must try to think very hard and what the worse might be before taking an action.  I tell them, that is now and for the rest of there lives.  That does not mean that mistakes will not be made, of course they will, but I explain how it just might save them from unwanted situations like with boys.  

Now, regarding this Freshman 500 club.  The fact that children, at the age of 15, are talking about this type of stuff is just scary.  What happened to being kids and having fun in a descent way.  Girls just thinking boys are cute and that is it. What about if they might get a disease or even die from a disease.  Do they not think how many others a person might be with?  If they can become parents at a very young age.  Apparently not, and it is very sad.  I know I cannot fix the freshman class and the mentality of so many kids but I sure know that I will continue to try my best to talk to my girls, pray they make the right decisions, think before they act, share stories, try to open there eyes & continue every day of my life to talk, talk, talk and just let them know I am here for them.  I am not sure if that is something that is happening in many other schools but I sure did not want to just stay quiet and not share this with any parent.  Moms or dads.  So parents, just be aware & try to talk more to your kids to find out what is going on in there high school.  Now, I also want to let you know that my girls attend a very good public high school, in a very good area, with an amazing principal.  I have no complaints about the actual school.  I actually LOVE it.  It just is shocking what teens these days talk about or think about and I think, we as parents, should just keep trying to find out what is going on in there worlds.

To me the coolest part after all of this was when I asked my daughter, "Munchkin, I want to be honest with you and ask you if it will be alright for me to share this story on my blog so other parents can know just in case?" and she answers...."Yes, mom.  I think it would be a great idea because hopefully another mom can talk to her kids like you do with us and they will not do anything dumb and many moms will know this story so hopefully girls will not be so dumb".... and that was that!!!

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