Wednesday, September 14, 2016
It has been 12 years for me as a single mom already. I feel at times that I may not ever see the light. I get sad at times because I have not been able to give my girls so much. They are 15 & 16 and have never even been on an airplane ride. We have not been able to travel and take a vacation. We might go to a movie theatre once a year and our expensive night out, when possible, has been Chili's restaurant. We do not go to the mall or do much shopping BUT if it is one thing that I will admit and they will too, is that we have many many laughs together.
Each of my girls tell me "Mom, you are far from normal". Lol... but they always let me know what a great quality that is. How I act silly and just am a kid at heart. They always tell me how I have a "very different personality". Still wonder about that. I try to make the best of the moments while at home or even sitting in the car, at a street light, parking lot & even driving playing the radio. My oldest is always taking videos of me & sending it to all of her friends on snapchat, at many times I have no clue. Her friends all think its great how we have such great times. My attitude is, even though I have not been able to give them much, I must make the best of my time with them, even if it's going to Pier 1 & all sitting on the floor to imitate a Buddha statue.
I sometimes come up with things that I, myself, tell myself after "Really? What in heavens goes through your mind" but every time I see them laughing so hard, smiling and having such a great time, I thank God for how I am.
Life is too short & we truly have no idea what can happen in the next second, next day, a month or a year from now. I feel that it is okay to laugh lots and act silly. Don't worry about what others may think because it's your precious time with your children. Maybe I may be the only mom who sits in the car, after eating Steak 'n Shake, and takes the paper bag & forms it into a hat & wears the glasses up side down but that is okay because I just created a moment that I know my daughters will not forget. Yes, I sit in Five Guys Burgers & try to sip a drink of water with a straw too.
Many of you are probably thinking "WEIRDO" or "HOW CAN SHE EVEN WRITE ABOUT THIS?" And Yes, I think why I am writing it too BUT the answer is "because I want everyone to be aware of how precious our time is with our children & we need to embrace it"
Many of us wonder "Why?...Why do we have to go through certain things in life?" I know I have asked myself many of times. I know my "why?" is to make me stronger as a mother, friend & woman. To have me realize how precious life & my time with my girls is. I had many years that passed that I cannot get back & wish I could. Now I just embrace the moments I have. Holding there hands, our talks and so much more. I have been blessed & lucky to not only be able to have a relationship of much laughter but I also have been able to accomplish to have a relationship with them where we talk about many different topics. I always tell them I rather them hear the truth coming from me instead of a teen friend who has no experience in life yet or even might know the actual truth. We have had some ups and downs but they have been together. They have been the ones who have made me stronger and not want to ever give up the fight. For we only have this one life that has been given to us and we need to laugh more along with having generous hearts, manners and morals. It is all worth it when your child has to write about someone who is there role model & you find out it was written about YOU. I thank God every day because I may not have a lot but I have had healthy daughters with big hearts and I have been given the heart of a fighter who has no intensions of giving up....