Thursday, October 27, 2016

Don't Lose YOU after you divorce!

It is bad enough that "WE", as mothers, tend to very easily forget about ourselves.  To not take care of ourselves, our health, our looks and about our happiness.  We always tend to put our children first as it should be, BUT we have to find a balance to not allow "US" to drift away and forget who we are.

Ever since I became a single mom, I have felt that my emotions have been on a major roller coaster ride that has had some really bad turns.  The one attitude that I have had is that for every bad turn, I have learned a lesson and have become stronger and a better mother.  Life is tough as it is and when we go thru a divorce, some of us can feel embarrassed, ashamed, scared, major concern if we will be able to make it, lonely and so many other feelings that go thru our bodies.  I, for instance, at first felt guilty.  I felt horrible inside because I had asked for the divorce because I was unhappy and felt that I was married to someone who was a good man but I was missing something and did not know what it was.  I also knew in my heart that because "I" was unhappy that I would not be the mother that I wanted to be which is the mother I am today...Well, almost.  I still want to take a vacation with my girls some day...Lol.
  Several years ago, I basically lost my job in an industry that I was in for 18 years and gave my all to.  From that point on, I was depressed, stressed, gained a bunch of weight and recently even had back surgery.  Well needless to say, I have gained lots of unwanted weight.  From the stress, I have had hair loss and do not sleep much either.  It amazes me, as I once owned my own boutique that carried designer brand names, my own line of jewelry that I designed and did amazing.  I had designed a line of aprons where I produced 3 different runs because they kept selling out.  T-shirts and so much more.  I felt good.  I would dress up, watch my weight, had manicures and pedicures, would go to the gym and even tan.  I was so motivated.  I made a change in the Downtown where my boutique was located and had fun and LOVED my customers.  Some of them no longer were customers but became friends.
Years later, I find myself overweight, hair loss, etc... My creative drive had been lost and had no clue what to do.  Well, if I once had my own business and was successful at it then what would stop me now from starting a business again.  Not long ago, I began my own company called  I have been happy as I have been blessed to decorate homes, design and build TV sets, design and build props and build furniture for clients.  Yet I still am not completely happy with myself physically.  Why?  Because I have allowed to let go of MYSELF in order to maintain my home and always think of my children first.

Well, now it is time for PLAN B in my life.  I have done well as a mother and will continue to put my children first but I also need to try to set an example for my girls.  I want my girls to be strong and independent women who know they are AMAZING WOMEN with self confidence.  

*  So one must MAKE A PLAN and try to make small changes on a DAY TO DAY basis.  

*  Think of what has YOU feeling down.  What changes YOU would like to make.  What makes YOU happy and begin to do them little by little.

*  SCHEDULE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF.  Write it on your calendar as if you had a doctors appointment for your children.  

*  If you cannot afford it, then PAMPER YOURSELF by doing things as simple as being sure to put lotion on that has a wonderful smell, at night before going to bed, that will bring you some peace.  

*  Be sure to make an appointment, even if it is once a month, for a manicure, pedicure, massage or even all 3.

*  Sit outside on a nice day & READ a book if that is what you like to do or have a glass of wine or whatever makes YOU feel good.

At the end of the day, just try to find what makes YOU happy & devote some time to yourself because if we continue to let ourselves be lost then what kind of example are we showing our children for one day they too will be adults with the possibility of having there own family.  And WE as the GREAT MOTHERS THAT WE ARE, DO NOT WANT THEM TO FORGET ABOUT THEMSELVES TOO.


No comments:

Post a Comment