Friday, October 28, 2016

Happy Children make a Happy Home..

I have spoken before how important it is for YOU to be happy with yourself as a single parent and it is important BUT it also is very important for your children to be happy with the situation at hand.

There are some moms that like to ACT or believe that they are such great moms.  They tend to be sure to travel with the kids, go to church every Sunday and make the appearance, yet as soon as they walk out of church they are the ones who are lying, trying to keep the children away from the father and bad mouthing him to whom ever they can.  They complain how they have no money yet are always going out.  They complain how the man never gives enough money yet do not believe that the father truly lost his job and is trying his best to find some work.  Now I know there are some dads, as well as moms, that are not the best out there so I am fully aware as each situation can be different.  Now I also have seen moms crying misery to the world so everyone hates the ex and is happy that the father does not see the children because she continues to make life difficult.  That is because she is miserable within herself probably.   This is the same type of mom who tells her children that there is not enough money to continue to participate in sports because there is not enough money for the gas or for the sport but then turns around and is traveling somewhere and always out.  These are the things that I do not get.  If one does not have the money to take the children to an activity that they enjoy and does not have the money for the gas, as they claim, then how can you have the money to travel and be going out.  What kind of example are you setting for the children on finances too.  If you claim there is no money then explain it to them as to why you are having to make certain financial cuts but also DEMONSTRATE with your actions the same thing.  And STOP bad mouthing the other parent.  I have NEVER blamed my ex for me not being able to travel with my children, I have NEVER blamed my ex because of the hard times that I have gone thru.  He too has a right to have a life and live his life just as you have yours.  It's time to just MOVE ON and be fair...

As a mother, you make sacrifices.  You protect your children and there hearts so they get less affected by the divorce situation.  It is bad enough that they do not live with both of the parents but sometimes can also be a blessing as the children no longer have to listen to the constant arguing and deal with the lack of love in the home.   I believe, and this is just my opinion and what I have done, that a good mother does not want there children to suffer any more.  She will not bad mouth the father to her children.  She will not mislead them and try to keep the children away from the father, if he is a good father.  I know there are some cases that one of the parents can have a drug or alcohol issue, an abuse issue and other issues but I am talking about two parents that are just good people.
I guess the reason why I am talking about this is because I have good friends who are great fathers and the women make there lives hell and I have seen how the daughters or sons suffer.  I have also seen the opposite.  All I think is that one must truly try there best to not keep the kids from either of the parents, being that its a healthy environment & situation because all that one is doing is hurting the children in the end.  I personally believe being a good parent means thinking of your childs happiness.  Now don't get me wrong, I too have made mistakes.  I, at times, reacted out of anger but have learned A LOT and I am writing this because I am hoping that I can open the eyes to someone out there that might be going thru something that will consider making a change for the better of everyone involved.

So next time you are angry at your ex, my advice is just keep it to yourself.  Don't bad mouth the ex to the children and STOP blaming everything on the ex because YOU are responsible for your actions and it is up to YOU to make a change or create a positive environment.  Let go of your anger because it is damaging YOU as well as your children but mainly YOU. Plus on the divorce papers it also mentions how one is not to bad mouth the other party.  STOP listening to everyone around you too that is only giving you negative advice.  If the children are taken into consideration, everyone would be sure to advise the party that the children need to spend some quality time with the other parent PLUS it can give you a break too.  Take that time to relax or spend some time with friends or your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Hope this helps someone out.  And also remember, all this negativity and anger that one can have inside, children know, and that can also make them angry towards you and not only affect the home environment but there grades and temper too.

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