Friday, October 20, 2017

Halloween DIY short video... A fun project to create with the kids!

Well, it has been quite some time since I have been writing on my blog, as you 
all can tell.  I apologize as I have been very entertained getting ready for Halloween.

Not sure how many of you celebrate Halloween, but here in the United States it is a fun holiday that we celebrate and kids just have a great time trick or treating.  Going from house to house, with friends, and just gathering up lots of candy & enjoying seeing homes decorated.

Some may not find Halloween fun, as they just might think it has to be scary but I am one who just loves to have fun & decorate some areas scary, but not too scary and others just cute.  This DIY video is something that is not only cute but fun & easy to create with your kids.  It can be a time of fun & bonding in preparation for Halloween.  I have been spending lots of time creating scenes for my
& was hoping to start sharing on my blog before Halloween comes to an end.  If you have a facebook page, be sure to visit "Twyne Designs" & LIKE the page so you can see so much more.  I hope to inspire some of you and/or hope that many of you will enjoy viewing the video.  This video was designed, produced & editted by Twyne Designs.
Hope you all enjoy the month of October & wish everyone many blessings.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

A must see for Mommies...

Okay so I should be working right now but I AM NOT!  Why?  Because last night as I was messaging my cousin through Facebook.  While we were chatting she asked me if I have seen this show on TV Land called "Younger". First of all I had no clue what TV Land was even.  Lol..then I had no clue about a show called Younger either.  So thankfully for the internet as it wa 1:00am I googled TVLand then signed in and found the show.

So for all the moms who do not watch much tv or just want some entertainment, I highly recommend the show.  

I am more of someone who truly does not watch much TV.  Either reading a book, finding inspirational quotes, working on organizing my life so I can start on my next goal, being a mom to 2 Teenage girls who I taxi them around and just deal with all of the other mom stuff we all have to deal with.  BUT this has had me since last night falling behind on my To Do List.

I will tell you a little bit just to see I get you hooked too.  It is about a mom who her husband cheated on her with a younger woman.  She has a daughter whom she devoted her life to being a mom.  She is trying to get a job and ends up living with her best friend in Brooklyn.  They have the idea that in order for her to get a job she needs to lie and say she is 26 so she does.  The truth is that she is 40.  Either way, she finally gets a job in an industry that she likes and it all goes from there.  I do not want to say too much more just in case someone wants to google it too and get caught up watching the show.  But I will say that it really is unfair that trying to find a job, after 40, is much more difficult and I can understand what she feels like.

I started last night.  I watched Season 1, Episode 1 through Episode 5.  Today I have watched Season 1, Episode 6 through Episode 12, which is the last Episode of Season 1.  AND I AM FORCING MYSELF TO GET BACK TO ALL I NEED TO DO...

Just a quick FYI, for all those mommies...just check it out & that is all I will say for now.  Oh & NO, I do not work for the show either...Lol

This is just Mommy Entertainment!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

How to find some money...

You probably are wondering that the answer to this question is not easy but it actually can be.  

Lately, I have been looking around at so much that I have from when my girls were younger as well as items that I truly do not even use or like any longer.   The thought of having a garage sale came to mind but I dreaded thinking about waking up super early, pricing items, dragging them outside and then what ever would not sell, drag it back in.  Just the thought made me tired.  So I thought to myself...:Wait, what is the one thing everyone does these days? on the computer, internet..."  & that is when I began researching more.

Do you realize that with social media and the internet how much easier it can be to sell items that you no longer use or care to have?  Well, I did.  I forgot that Facebook has what they call, I believe, their "Facebook Marketplace".  So I went ahead and took out the play kitchen that I have had from when my girls were younger along with the plates, cups and pots & pans that it had.  I had my teenager clean it all up for me a bit and took pictures....

 Here are some of the pictures.  I made sure to take a picture of the front, back, sides, inside & all of the little extras that I would be selling with the kitchen.  So I went onto Facebook, searched under Groups for groups that were around my area and joined them.  Once I got approved, I went ahead and put the kitchen up for sale for $45.  Well I was shocked!  I put it up for sale right before I went to bed and when I woke up the next morning, I had 5 people interested & asking me if I still had it.  So I decided to continue on my voyage of hunting for items that I would want to sell so I can have some extra cash.  I need to figure something out because my landlord has decided to put up for sale the house that I have been renting from him for the last 2 1/5 years and now will have to move again.  I am just hoping that he will wait until my lease is up, if not I have researched that he might have to be paying for my moving fees.

My point being, just when you might think you have no way of getting some extra cash, just LOOK AROUND YOUR HOME!  I am sure that you might have some clothing, movies, toys, jewelry that you might not care to have any longer or some house decor pieces that you are bored of.  Go ahead & get on the internet & social media.  Sell it on ebay, sell it on Facebook or their are also many apps that you can sell items on.  I am sure that just when you thought you had no money laying around, you actually could have a few hundred or even more.

As I continue on this journey, I will make sure to write about it again & put it on my blog in the hopes that this might light up your lightbulb as I am sure you can use some extra cash & less clutter in your home.  

Remember, what might be trash to you, might be a treasure to someone else & you can also just be helping out another mom who might need it more than what you do.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Teen Vogue publishing controversial guide...

Okay, so I am not even going to put a title or anything on this one.  I was on my facebook page and saw this post that Teen Vogue just published.  I am not sure what some may think but I honestly do not care to have my teenagers reading or looking at this.  The target audience is 11-17 and teaching how to have anal sex, masturbate, etc...  I am not sure how many moms might feel about this but I really do not care for any magazine to teach such things to my children.  I know some may agree with the magazine and others may not.  I have literally "copied & paste" the article written onto this blog to let other moms be aware of what this issue has published.  I know this is simple.  I do not need or will I purchase this magazine.  DONE!  But I decided to write about it on my blog because it just made me think and wonder "Should I just let other moms know, just in case they feel how I do?"  So I took the chance.  I also doubted my decision because by me blogging about this article/magazine I am giving them more publicity which is not what I want but once again, I would like to make aware to other moms that it was published.  So damn if I do and damn if I don't.

My concern is....Have we, as a society, TOTALLY LOST ALL OF OUR MORALS?  Look, I will be honest with you.  I have no issues with anyone who is homosexual.  I have friends that are homosexual and it truly does not make a difference to me.  I respect and care for them and would help them just as I would someone who is straight.  I have even thought, at times, how difficult it must be to have to deal with admitting to family members, friends and so on that one is homosexual if they feel that the family or friends will not be able to accept it.  I believe it must be difficult.  I have a massage therapist that is gay and I feel perfectly comfortable with her giving me massages.  Heck, we even have discussions about life and issues just as I would with anyone else.  So my issue here is not anyone who is homosexual, if they like to masturbate, have anal sex or whatever.  Every person has and does what they choose to do in their own personal room/life.  BUT I do not care to have my children reading or seeing illustrations, pictures or whatever about how to go about having anal sex or anything else.  I feel that is up to me and my relationship with my children to discuss such matters.  I have and keep on trying to let them know that we can talk about ANYTHING.  We have talked about boys, girls, friends of theirs that are homosexual, Heck... I LOVE one of their friends who is gay.  I have cooked for him.  I have taken him out to spend the day with us.  Loved him, hugged him just as if he was one of my own.  So truthfully, that is not my issue here.  I just feel that this article went a bit far.  I just look at it this way....  I have a good enough relationship with my children and we talk about so many subjects BUT IT IS UP TO ME, THEIR MOTHER, to make the choice of how things, topics, situations, etc... should be discussed, explained and just spoken about.  I honestly have an open mind.  I listen to them as they listen to me.  At times, I might not agree or fully understand how they are thinking regarding a matter but I try to see it as they do and talk some more so we can come to an understanding.  If not their have been times, that we might not agree and I give them my opinion and let time pass to see what the outcome will be.  I have done this with friends that I might not agree with that my daughters hang out.  BUT once again, I breathe in and out, I have faith and hope for the best that they will see what I am saying and walk away from that person OR that time will pass and I will realize that I was wrong and let them know.  But truthfully 99% of the time, I was right and they come to me and let me know I was right and they should have listened.  Then I hug them and let them know it is okay because we always need to learn in life and observe.  BUT LIKE I SAID THAT IS MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN & I DO NOT NEED ANY MAGAZINE PUBLISHING SUCH AN ARTICLE AS TEEN VOGUE JUST DID.

I have always loved Vogue.  I love the fashion that is published, health & beauty topics, cute stories to read, what is the latest trend, makeup tricks, etc... but this one is just not one that I agree with, will spend my money on or care to share with my girls.  All I can do right now is...If they happen to see it, then it will be one of those discussions that we have and on this one I really think they will just not even care to read about it. 

 I guess that Teen Vogue just might not have many more topics and the magazine might not be going as well as they like so they made a decision that they know will get attention and possibly more sales and take the chance.  This can either make them sink or swim.  I personally care to see the article sink and hope they made wiser choices to write about.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Juggling it all...

As I am sure that EVERY MOM FEELS THIS WAY & you have probably read a ton of articles regarding this subject, I still wanted to share or vent how I feel too.  Who knows?  Maybe someone can relate or happen to run into this article and it can make them feel better.

So I recently, like really recently, decided, am trying, which ever way I can try to stick to it, I am trying to take out "ME TIME".  This is Day 3 from like 3 weeks of me trying to go out for a walk, get the heart rate going a bit, breathing in & out and being alone.  And Yes!  I just too realized that is only 1 day a week of going out to walk and I really need to try to do it more often.  Lol...

As I was walking this morning, I saw a mom pushing her baby in a stroller, while having her other child, who was probably 8 or 9 yrs old, walking by her side.  She was not looking too happy, in her work out clothes, not smiling, looking at her phone and had no clue what so ever that I even smiled and wished her a "Good morning".  It got me thinking.  #1 she had that look as "Don't even wish me a Good Morning.  Do you not see my face?"... Lol  I felt bad.  I was hoping that a sincere smile and the voice of another woman would at least get her to sigh.  But no luck.  It made me think all we do as moms and just as women.

We truly do not realize how important we are as women in this world.  Forget the obvious fact that "YES, we are needed to create too" but the fact that we tackle so much yet we continue to try to smile, give so much love to our children, and/or husbands (I know some of you are thinking "Sure, when I have the time").  We need to give ourselves more credit.  We cannot allow to let anyone or allow us to feel that we are any less.  We not only have the power to create and bring another life into this world but after that we then tackle it all.
I know I have felt many times, as a single mom, being alone with my 2 girls for many years that I do not have the fight, yet I somehow continue to do it.  I have felt that I want to just quit but somehow I keep trying.  I have cried because I have not had enough to pay rent, the electric, the grocery bill or have had any money to take them to a movie in an entire year but somehow the bills have been paid (some late but done), I have always given them a roof over their heads, if not a movie theatre, I have created their own movie of me being a fool for them to keep in their memory bank which brings them a lifetime of laughter and still, I feel I have not done a good job.  "WOWZA!!!  Really?"  How can I do this to myself?  Well, WE CANNOT!

WE ARE THE TRUE SUPER HEROES!!!  We need to pat ourselves on the back, have a glass of wine, laugh and BE PROUD!  So what if we don't have the perfect bodies like a Victoria Secret model.  We have some wrinkles, possibly.  Heck, if you are my age, 49, then you probably have body aches too, at times, shortness of breath and loss of memory...Lol  My point is that we need to take the time to realize WE TRULY ARE AMAZING!  And I KNOW AS A SINGLE MOM...."I AM PROUD!".  Yes, I have made mistakes.  We all have and will continue to do so.  We have not found the "perfect book" with all the rules, the hows & whys, the what to dos on being the perfect mother.  All I know is I have tried very hard, given it my all, have lost it, at times, but have learned from it and kept calm at others, I have had sleepless nights, I dread dealing with all the boy situations, pray they do not get drunk or do drugs and if they do, let me be aware so I can help them and hope they learn never to do it again.  I have and continue to try to teach them to be strong.  To believe in themselves yet I still need work on that area because as much as I have always told them how awesome they are, how proud I am of them, they still have self esteem issues.  And I came to realize because they told me to my face when I asked one day "Why if I never put you down & I tell you that you can do anything & to believe & keep on trying" and Guess What?....RIGHT TO MY FACE, THEY TOLD ME THE TRUTH..."Mom, we see it in you.  You are amazing yet you do not see it and do not give yourself any credit"....  And the feeling of a BOMB kicked in.

 Wowww...They were right.  So think about that one too.

I get it.  We get tired.  "We want a Vacay"  We might even lock ourselves up in the bathroom or closet, at times, to just cry.  Heck, I did that when mine were babies because they are 10 1/2 months apart and now teenagers.  I have had my power cut off and we have slept in my car.  Heck we even slept, a few times, when I owned my own boutique and many never even knew.  What saved me was I had a sofa at the store too as part of the decor.  Amazing is what I think now of all that.  But yet it is true.  My life as a single mom has not been easy but then I think the life of a mom with their child that might have some horrible disease, like cancer, or missing a body part, not hearing, seeing, having a disability and I think of how tough life has been and still is for them.  So it's just about being a Mom!  It can be tough but the reward can be Amazing if we let it be.  We just need to keep trying to juggle, figure out the best way that will work for each of us to cook, clean, work, teach, love, cry, coach and so many other jobs that we carry on our shoulders and just TRY TO DO IT THE BEST WAY WE KNOW HOW & STAND TALL, WITH OUR ARMS AT OUR SIDES, AND TELL OURSELVES "I AM A SUPER HERO!"

I hope this can make you smile.  Have you feel better and know that you are not alone and Remember "STAND TALL CUZ YOU ARE A MOM & A DAMN GOOD ONE AT THAT TOO!"

Monday, June 26, 2017

Movies Rated yet the internet is not...???

Has any mom ever wondered about this?  Do we say "No" to an R-rated yet do we even think about what our children have full access to on the internet?  How much can we really do?  If we install the Parent Control, does one think that they can still access to anything from anywhere else?

These are the questions that were running through my head, yesterday, as my 17 year old wanted to go see a movie with her friends.  Rough Nights!  Rated-R!  Well I got very lucky because once we spoke she did not even want to go see it because she said she would feel weird.  I sat down and spoke to her and told her that their would probably be some scenes that would be inappropriate.  Being that they were going in a group of friends and her and I spoke, after talking I saw it in her face that she was not crazy about the idea of going to see the movie.  We then even discussed about how would she be able to get in being that she was underage.  Well, when I checked online, do you know that if a parent purchases the ticket for their child and the movie is R-rated they will be able to see the movie?  I had no clue that worked that way.  

All of this got me thinking....So the movies are rated and children are really not suppose to be allowed to get in to watch an R-rated movie if they are under age BUT WHAT ABOUT THE INTERNET?  Scary thought? Is it not?  I know to me it is.  I know at this point, in our lives and in the world that we live in today, their is not much that we can do about some of these situations.   I just know that all we can truly do and give it all that we have is JUST TALK TO OUR CHILDREN!
Because since their is so much out of our control, all we can hope for is that the words that we use to speak to them, hopefully will sink in and they will think about what they do twice or maybe even more than that.  I do hope mine do.  I mean, I know I would be lying to myself because we all too once teenagers.  Some of us were bad, got into trouble, while others were good.  I just know who I was and who I am and all I know is that I will continue to keep on trying and talking as much as I can and as much as they will listen in the hopes that some of the words I speak to my girls will sink in so they do not make HUGE MISTAKES that they can regret later in life.

We all need to keep trying.  Keep communicating.  Keep listening to our children.  Keep trying to be patient.  Try to have open minds.  Give them the best advice we can.  Give them plenty of love.  Let them know how amazing they are.  To never give up.  To never let others be a bad influence on them.  And we all need to just keep hoping for the best for our children because I honestly feel, at times, that it is much tougher for our children these days than it was for us when we were younger.

Just a thought!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Cry...wipe...breath...& Move on! it's Okay!

I am sure that I am not alone on this one.  We, as Moms, as humans, get overwhelmed, at times.  One feels hopeless.  So sad that all you want to do is sleep.  You feel that you keep on trying and trying and things keep happening.  Yeap!  That is how I have been feeling.  I have been here before and have stepped out of it.  I have been working on getting so much organized, have been renting a house for over 2 years that has not been in the best of conditions but at first, the rent was reasonable.  The landlord is not good.  What I have been paying is not worth the house we have been living in BUT I have stayed here to try to give myself the time needed to get things in order.  Being a single mom and with so much that has happened to me, my girls and I have moved several times.  Too many honestly that we are tired.  So go figure, just as my life, I feel, is going on a more positive path, I get an email from my landlord that he is putting the house for sale and if I want to buy it or move out! 

I have felt helpless, tired and no clue what to do... I went online and started looking for ANOTHER RENTAL.  My credit went downhill, after my divorce.  I truly have not been able to save money because I live check to check, job to job.  Well, as always A GOOD CRY ALONE CAN BE VERY HELPFUL!  This morning, as I had to step out, I literally parked alone in an empty parking lot, sat looking at the trees and just started to cry.  I cried for a while.  Then I wiped my tears.  I took a few, long deep breaths, turned on the car, played "The Secret" cd and drove away.  While driving, I thought to myself..."It was good that I cried, I wiped my tears, I took a long breathe and now I need to Move On and see what I can do.  I need to pray.  I need to make a plan.  My girls need me.  I am not ready to Quit.  I want to do something good and help others soon but first I must help myself"

I must be honest, I have listed to the cd "The Secret".  This is not my first time.  It is good to listen over and over.  Sometimes we listen or read books and get on track.  We then happen to take a fall, run off the road and forget what we read or listened to and forget to put it on track.  Our brain is an amazing body part that we must work on every day of our lives.  It is such a powerful tool that we are not completely sure how to use it or how much we actually use and can use more of.  It is like singing a song.  One must listen to it over and over to get the words right but you have to keep playing the song so you do not forget the words.  No clue if you just understood what I meant but I hope you did.  😀 😀 😀  When times are tough, it is okay to cry but we must WIPE THE TEARS & MOVE ON!

I think to myself..."I AM NOT ALONE"  I was googling women crying, as I was trying to find images to write this blog, and I ran into Oprah & Jennifer Lopez picture crying.  Got me to think even more.  Those are women that are very successful today but they have been through so much.  We have no clue.  We have only heard some stories.  We have heard of some of Oprahs' very difficult childhood and her way up the ladder, as a black woman, trying to make it.  Wow!  and look at her today!  Then I think of Jennifer Lopez.  

She is beautiful, an amazing body, stays fit, can dance, sing, act.  Some say as a person she can be a Diva.  Some say she is nice.  I, personally, met her when I worked in Television and designed sets and had my own experience.  No matter what my opinion may be, good or bad, she still is amazing.  She is now a single mom.  I know, many say that because of all of the money and fame that she has, being a single mom must be easy for her because she has a ton of help.  But I disagree.  No matter how much money one may have or not have, the most difficult job, as a mother, is being there for our children.  Establishing a relationship with them.  Guiding them.  Hoping we all are doing a good job and that, my friends, money cannot buy.  That requires a lot of time, patience and heart.  

So after my cry, my wiping of the tears and breathing in and out.  I came home.  Kept listening to my cd.  Walked down to my office.  Sat on the sofa, read a book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill and just read over some pages from one of my favorite books "You can Heal your Life" by Louise L. Hay.  I took the information in.  Gave myself a pep talk and sat down to write my blog and once I finish I will write some daily goals on my agenda and be sure to not go to sleep until they have been checked off.

Just know, Moms.  We each have a right to cry.  We all have good days and bad days.  Life can be tough.  As single moms, we can feel we have it tougher, but some may and some may not.  No one is alone.  Just REMEMBER...It is okay to cry!  Then Wipe your tears!  Take a good long breath & Move On...because our children need us, we have the blessing to be able to live another day and WE MUST BE STRONG & GIVE IT ALL WE HAVE!  Our children need us.  So find what ever works best for you after a good cry.  Whether it be a good book, a walk, a jog, a punching bag, music, candles, incense or what ever it may be.  Find it & use it.

I wish all Moms a beautiful, happy & productive day!!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Boys Bathroom Car Racing Idea...


No clue what to do after the Winnie the Pooh or Disney stage is over and you have a boy?  Or maybe he just 💙💙💙 s car racing.  Well here is a simple and inexpensive idea that will only take Paint, Patience & Time & a few little other things.  All you need is a nice white, smooth wall.  By using some paint, you can turn a bare white wall into a statement wall.

Here is something that I painted for a client.  The client wanted something simple for the mens bathroom.  The bathroom is small.  Just one toilet.  I had a tight budget to work with to decorate an entire office, including the bathrooms.  So I thought to myself, "Well, the clients business is in the automobile industry...Hhmmm" and I came up with this.  Using some black and white paint, a large level, pencil, tape, PATIENCE....this is how it turned out

I went to the local Home Depot.  Painted the 4 walls grey and then painted the racing stripe, center of the wall, opposite to the toilet.  I honestly would have wanted to do more but I was limited on my time and had a deadline to meet.  So being that the wall was not completely smooth, I purchased some small wood moldings, painted them black, cut them to size and gave the wall a dimensional look but adding the wood to the borders and the borders of each square so the end result can be a smooth, clean, dimensional look.  

And lastly, I purchased a light weight, metal automobile themed sign and hung it on top of the checkered look to incorporate more of the automobile theme in the bathroom.  In materials the cost was not much.  What was most costly was my time but all that mattered and still matters to me is that my client ended up being a very happy client at the end of the job and now 💙💙💙 s their bathroom.
So Moms....if you happen to have a son, who just LOVES CARS, and has grown into the "Big Boy" stage and you are not sure what to do and/or do not have much $$$ to do it with, here is an idea!  Just add the details to it after, but at least you have the foundation & VROOM VROOM AWAY WITH IT ALL AFTER

Kids & Chores!

Chores can ONLY HELP our kids!!!

Wondering how many moms give their kids chores?  Do you see any wrong in it or do you think it cannot only help you out but help them too?

Well, I personally see no wrong in giving chores to our kids.  I see so many children that are only stuck to their electronic devices all day long.

You see this in the car, at the table, in the stores, at family gatherings and so much more.  Well, not only do I feel that too many children are just stuck on their electronics but I also believe that many children feel they just deserve it.  Well, that is far from my thought process.  Our children do not truly need these devices.  Yes, they can come in handy at times but not 24/7.  Plus I honestly believe that a parent can use these devices as a reward once chores are completed.  

I see so many parents that have their children in so many sports.  Okay, I am not saying, at all, that it's bad too because I can just think about how many moms will start complaining.  But I do believe things should come in moderation.  Today as a society we have become so distant.  As adults, we are even stuck on our electronics.  It is sad when you hear that texting and driving has killed and hurt more people than drinking and driving.  It worries me quite a bit.  

All I know is that with my daughters, since I have been a single mom for so many years, I have felt that it is important for them to help me around the house.  Even when I owned my boutique in Florida, I had them be with me and help me.  I taught them how to run the cash register, they even created their own Lemonade stand, helped me pass out flyers, tag inventory for me, etc...They saw how hard I worked and then had to come home to continue working.  At home, since they were young, I would have them help me cut the grass but of course with my presence, right by their side.  I have always had them help me clean, wash clothes, etc...

A mom is truly a job that is never done.  I created chores for them at home not only so they can help me but so they can learn.  It is very simple, if they do not help, they will not have privileges.  Meaning no having friends over, no going out, no movies, no phones, no parties, etc...  I feel we need to teach our children that life is not all fun and games and it is not all about sports too.  We have to learn to have a balance or at least try to teach them how to have a balance and Yes, I have my reasons for writing this blog right now.  Lol

Just these past few days, my teen and I have been driving around, finding a dress for her dinner gathering with friends, shopping with her own money, mani, pedi, eyebrow waxing, wanting to always be doing something with the friends...Well I simply had asked to wash the dishes for me the other night. She did not do it as she was on her phone talking away with her friends.  So I went ahead, cleaned up all of the dishes, went to bed, took her to work the following morning and when I picked her up from work and she asked if I was still going to be able to take her and her friends to the mall, I said "No".  Well, Well, Well, let's just say the frown turned upside down, the teenage hormones kicked in as well as the attitude and that was all I needed.  No Friends!  Time to remind her that those are privileges and rewards for helping, because life is not all about fun and games.  I sat down and even spoke to her of why I was mad, why I said that horrible 2 letter word "NO".  I explained how I take so much of "MY TIME" to drive her around, take her to places, shop, allow her to be with friends, for friends to come over, to use her cell phone, etc...and I also explained how quickly it can all be taken away.  Once we talked for quite some time and I told her how I felt, even though it took some time, my words sunk in.  She asked for me to create a list of chores she could help me with tomorrow and what we needed to do.  I was happy because I brought her back to earth and reminded her how in life nothing comes for FREE!

But before she came to her senses, she did cop the attitude and be that moody teen that we, as moms, know and love.  See, this week is her birthday.  She turns the big "17".  She has 2 part time jobs, a checking account and savings account.  I also have her pay a 10% fee which goes towards the gas that I use for her to be driven to work, shopping, etc...  Each of my girls must put a certain amount into their savings and after the 10% fee, that is the money they have to shop, eat with their friends or go to a movie.  BUT the job and privilege of having and using electronics does come at an additional price.  And that price is the price of working in the  house and helping out with the chores.  They must help wash everyones clothes, clean, wash dishes and now are learning to cook with me.  Hey, I will not lie.  I do not have it all figured out.  I too struggle.  I wonder "Am I doing right or not?"  "Am I too hard on them?" many questions but I will tell you this, when I sit back and see them, I know I am doing well.  Life has not been easy for them.  Being a single mom and going through a lot in life and even being laid off was not easy but I do not regret any of it as hard as it has been for us all.  We have learned many lessons in life and still have many to more to learn.  

For all of you moms that spend so much of your time with your children out, spoiling them, always supporting them in what ever sport they play...that is great but just think to yourself "would it all even be better if my child has to work towards getting this reward?"  And try to be Honest with yourself.  

Technology has its good and bad.  Good part is that if you are thinking about what I have written now, then Google away.  You can find lists that are age appropriate.  You can find a bunch of different ideas.  You can even find different type of contracts that you and your child or children can sign together and have a binding document between the both of you.  Just a thought.

Here is one of the many lists that I found that can be helpful;

Regular Chores for Teens

  • Vacuum living room, hallways, bedrooms, and stairs
  • Sweep kitchen and bathroom floors
  • Dust living room, bedrooms, and office space
  • Dust ceiling fans
  • Wipe off the washer and dryer
  • Vacuum the furniture
  • Straighten the living room
  • Lint brush furniture
  • Wipe baseboards
  • Clean doorknobs and light switches
  • Water plants
  • Organize drawers 
  • Organize bedroom closet
  • Take care of items for recycling 
  • Take the trash out to the street for pick up
  • Empty the trash from various rooms
  • Cook dinner (leave instructions)
  • Make lunch for siblings
  • Pick up a few grocery items from the store
  • Wash and dry laundry
  • Fold a load of laundry
  • Match socks
  • Clean the kitchen counters
  • Wash the front of the cupboards
  • Empty the dishwasher
  • Clean the bathroom sink, mirror and toilet
  • Shake out area rugs
  • Wash dishes
  • Feed the pet
  • Walk the pet or clean litter
  • Wash the pet or pet’s things
  • Clean windows 
  • Clean refrigerator shelves and door; inside and out
  • Clean out the old food in the refrigerator
  • Clean the toaster, unplug and dump the crumbs
  • Mop floors
  • Replace light bulbs
  • Organize the food in the pantry
  • Sanitize surfaces
  • Clean fingerprints off screens, like TV and laptops
  • Brush the pets outside to reduce shedding indoors
  • Iron clothes
  • Organize the garage
  • Wash the walls
  • Organize bookshelves

Spring/Summer Chores for Teens

  • Mow the lawn
  • Trim the lawn
  • Trim the bushes
  • Help with landscaping projects, like spreading mulch or building a rock wall
  • Weed the garden
  • Wash the car
  • Vacuum the car
  • Clean outdoor furniture
  • Get outdoor items out of storage and ready for use
  • Watch siblings during summer break
  • Gather unwanted items to donate or sell in a yard sale
  • Wash outdoor items, like boats, ATVs, campers, or other outdoor items

Fall Chores for teens

  • Rake the lawn 
  • Blow the leaves off the driveway
  • Help clean the gutters
  • Clean out the garden
  • Clean outdoor items and help store them for winter

Winter Chores for Teens (of course depending where you live)

  • Shovel snow
  • Clean snow off of the car

Work with your teen on identifying a regular chore schedule. Give your teen daily chores, as well as bigger chores to do on the weekends or during school vacations. 
Use chores as a way to help your teen become more responsible, but make sure your teen doesn't take on too many chores. Find a healthy balance that will give your child plenty of time to do homework and have some fun, while also teaching valuable skills of life.  And at the end of it all, they just need to learn that nothing in life comes for FREE! 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Sex Talk with my Teenager!

my Facebook post today!

Wow!  How time flies.  Have missed writing on my blog for quite some time.  Holidays came & went & soon will be here again.  Time for all of us Moms to FREAK OUT!  But Guess what?  I freaked out more, today, when my 16 year old & I were sitting inside my car, waiting on her sister to get out of work & she decided to talk about SEX!

YES!  This is how I felt inside...Lol   But on the outside I was pretty calm or at least it looked like it.

It started out that she wanted to share with me these funny videos of teenagers sharing with their parents when was it that they first lost their virginity and at what age and where.  Then it was quite amusing because the roles were reversed and the teens had to ask the parents at what age did they loose their virginity, with who, where and how many sexual partners have their parents had.  As we sat and watched it together, we both laughed.  We had some nervous, uncomfortable laughs as well as some regular comfortable laughs.

Now I have always tried to have a very open relationship with both of my girls about any subjects.  Meaning drugs, bullying, love, death, money and just about life.  I have spoken to both of them and are currently both 16.  Yes, their is a time they are the same age and are not twins.  They are 10 1/2 months apart and it was not planned, at least not to me and yes, I was on the pill but I had happen to be that lucky 1%.  Lol...  Well today my relationship with my youngest I feel grew stronger.  Once we finished watching the short video and laughed, she then asked me questions as she had both hands underneath her chin, LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME!  She asked..."so Mom, at what age did you loose your virginity?  With who?  Were you madly in love with him?  Where was it?  What happened to that relationship?  Did you think of marrying him?"
And this was how my head felt with all of those Questions. I went ahead, TOOK A VERY DEEP BREATH! PROCESSED ONE QUESTION AT A TIME & HIT HER WITH THE ANSWERS.  As she sat there TOTALLY LISTENING, ABSORBING EVERY WORD THAT I SAID, I began feeling at ease talking to her.  I know that we were both nervous and not sure who was more than the other, but the point was 


I explained it all and Thanked her at the end.  I let her know how happy and most of all, GRATEFUL, for the fact that she felt so comfortable and trusting in me that she came to me first.  I explained to her how many friends, at her age, could give her the wrong information simply because they have no clue or can even give her wrong information to see her make a big mistake, fail and so on.  Our Mother/daughter bond grew stronger.  I FELT AWESOME!  My eyes teared up knowing that my little girl is growing up and how scary it is but I must stay strong and continue to try to guide her the best that I can because someday she too might be a mommy and I would want her to have the same relationship that we have and possibly even stronger and try to be as wise as I was today.

So I will not bore you with the more details but I will say this to ALL THE MOMS OUT THERE who are single or not....I know we have a tough job because we must be the disciplinary, the role model, the bond, the friend, the teacher, police officer, lawyer and just EVERYTHING to our children BUT the one most important thing, I BELIEVE & I am no expert, is to just COMMUNICATE, BE REAL, BE HONEST, LISTEN, DON'T GET MAD WHEN THEY ARE COMING TO YOU & TRY TO GUIDE THEM THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE AFTER TAKING THOSE LONG DEEP BREATHS AFTER A CRAZY, UNEXPECTED QUESTION.

I wish you all the best of luck!  And I will get back on track and keep on sharing my stories with anyone who has the interest to read them because I think as..