Monday, June 26, 2017

Movies Rated yet the internet is not...???


Has any mom ever wondered about this?  Do we say "No" to an R-rated yet do we even think about what our children have full access to on the internet?  How much can we really do?  If we install the Parent Control, does one think that they can still access to anything from anywhere else?

These are the questions that were running through my head, yesterday, as my 17 year old wanted to go see a movie with her friends.  Rough Nights!  Rated-R!  Well I got very lucky because once we spoke she did not even want to go see it because she said she would feel weird.  I sat down and spoke to her and told her that their would probably be some scenes that would be inappropriate.  Being that they were going in a group of friends and her and I spoke, after talking I saw it in her face that she was not crazy about the idea of going to see the movie.  We then even discussed about how would she be able to get in being that she was underage.  Well, when I checked online, do you know that if a parent purchases the ticket for their child and the movie is R-rated they will be able to see the movie?  I had no clue that worked that way.  

All of this got me thinking....So the movies are rated and children are really not suppose to be allowed to get in to watch an R-rated movie if they are under age BUT WHAT ABOUT THE INTERNET?  Scary thought? Is it not?  I know to me it is.  I know at this point, in our lives and in the world that we live in today, their is not much that we can do about some of these situations.   I just know that all we can truly do and give it all that we have is JUST TALK TO OUR CHILDREN!
Because since their is so much out of our control, all we can hope for is that the words that we use to speak to them, hopefully will sink in and they will think about what they do twice or maybe even more than that.  I do hope mine do.  I mean, I know I would be lying to myself because we all too once teenagers.  Some of us were bad, got into trouble, while others were good.  I just know who I was and who I am and all I know is that I will continue to keep on trying and talking as much as I can and as much as they will listen in the hopes that some of the words I speak to my girls will sink in so they do not make HUGE MISTAKES that they can regret later in life.

We all need to keep trying.  Keep communicating.  Keep listening to our children.  Keep trying to be patient.  Try to have open minds.  Give them the best advice we can.  Give them plenty of love.  Let them know how amazing they are.  To never give up.  To never let others be a bad influence on them.  And we all need to just keep hoping for the best for our children because I honestly feel, at times, that it is much tougher for our children these days than it was for us when we were younger.

Just a thought!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Cry...wipe...breath...& Move on! it's Okay!



I am sure that I am not alone on this one.  We, as Moms, as humans, get overwhelmed, at times.  One feels hopeless.  So sad that all you want to do is sleep.  You feel that you keep on trying and trying and things keep happening.  Yeap!  That is how I have been feeling.  I have been here before and have stepped out of it.  I have been working on getting so much organized, have been renting a house for over 2 years that has not been in the best of conditions but at first, the rent was reasonable.  The landlord is not good.  What I have been paying is not worth the house we have been living in BUT I have stayed here to try to give myself the time needed to get things in order.  Being a single mom and with so much that has happened to me, my girls and I have moved several times.  Too many honestly that we are tired.  So go figure, just as my life, I feel, is going on a more positive path, I get an email from my landlord that he is putting the house for sale and if I want to buy it or move out! 

I have felt helpless, tired and no clue what to do... I went online and started looking for ANOTHER RENTAL.  My credit went downhill, after my divorce.  I truly have not been able to save money because I live check to check, job to job.  Well, as always A GOOD CRY ALONE CAN BE VERY HELPFUL!  This morning, as I had to step out, I literally parked alone in an empty parking lot, sat looking at the trees and just started to cry.  I cried for a while.  Then I wiped my tears.  I took a few, long deep breaths, turned on the car, played "The Secret" cd and drove away.  While driving, I thought to myself..."It was good that I cried, I wiped my tears, I took a long breathe and now I need to Move On and see what I can do.  I need to pray.  I need to make a plan.  My girls need me.  I am not ready to Quit.  I want to do something good and help others soon but first I must help myself"

I must be honest, I have listed to the cd "The Secret".  This is not my first time.  It is good to listen over and over.  Sometimes we listen or read books and get on track.  We then happen to take a fall, run off the road and forget what we read or listened to and forget to put it on track.  Our brain is an amazing body part that we must work on every day of our lives.  It is such a powerful tool that we are not completely sure how to use it or how much we actually use and can use more of.  It is like singing a song.  One must listen to it over and over to get the words right but you have to keep playing the song so you do not forget the words.  No clue if you just understood what I meant but I hope you did.  😀 😀 😀  When times are tough, it is okay to cry but we must WIPE THE TEARS & MOVE ON!

I think to myself..."I AM NOT ALONE"  I was googling women crying, as I was trying to find images to write this blog, and I ran into Oprah & Jennifer Lopez picture crying.  Got me to think even more.  Those are women that are very successful today but they have been through so much.  We have no clue.  We have only heard some stories.  We have heard of some of Oprahs' very difficult childhood and her way up the ladder, as a black woman, trying to make it.  Wow!  and look at her today!  Then I think of Jennifer Lopez.  


She is beautiful, an amazing body, stays fit, can dance, sing, act.  Some say as a person she can be a Diva.  Some say she is nice.  I, personally, met her when I worked in Television and designed sets and had my own experience.  No matter what my opinion may be, good or bad, she still is amazing.  She is now a single mom.  I know, many say that because of all of the money and fame that she has, being a single mom must be easy for her because she has a ton of help.  But I disagree.  No matter how much money one may have or not have, the most difficult job, as a mother, is being there for our children.  Establishing a relationship with them.  Guiding them.  Hoping we all are doing a good job and that, my friends, money cannot buy.  That requires a lot of time, patience and heart.  


So after my cry, my wiping of the tears and breathing in and out.  I came home.  Kept listening to my cd.  Walked down to my office.  Sat on the sofa, read a book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill and just read over some pages from one of my favorite books "You can Heal your Life" by Louise L. Hay.  I took the information in.  Gave myself a pep talk and sat down to write my blog and once I finish I will write some daily goals on my agenda and be sure to not go to sleep until they have been checked off.

Just know, Moms.  We each have a right to cry.  We all have good days and bad days.  Life can be tough.  As single moms, we can feel we have it tougher, but some may and some may not.  No one is alone.  Just REMEMBER...It is okay to cry!  Then Wipe your tears!  Take a good long breath & Move On...because our children need us, we have the blessing to be able to live another day and WE MUST BE STRONG & GIVE IT ALL WE HAVE!  Our children need us.  So find what ever works best for you after a good cry.  Whether it be a good book, a walk, a jog, a punching bag, music, candles, incense or what ever it may be.  Find it & use it.

I wish all Moms a beautiful, happy & productive day!!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Boys Bathroom Car Racing Idea...


So, YOU HAVE A BOY & WANT TO DECORATE HIS BATHROOM?

No clue what to do after the Winnie the Pooh or Disney stage is over and you have a boy?  Or maybe he just 💙💙💙 s car racing.  Well here is a simple and inexpensive idea that will only take Paint, Patience & Time & a few little other things.  All you need is a nice white, smooth wall.  By using some paint, you can turn a bare white wall into a statement wall.

Here is something that I painted for a client.  The client wanted something simple for the mens bathroom.  The bathroom is small.  Just one toilet.  I had a tight budget to work with to decorate an entire office, including the bathrooms.  So I thought to myself, "Well, the clients business is in the automobile industry...Hhmmm" and I came up with this.  Using some black and white paint, a large level, pencil, tape, PATIENCE....this is how it turned out




I went to the local Home Depot.  Painted the 4 walls grey and then painted the racing stripe, center of the wall, opposite to the toilet.  I honestly would have wanted to do more but I was limited on my time and had a deadline to meet.  So being that the wall was not completely smooth, I purchased some small wood moldings, painted them black, cut them to size and gave the wall a dimensional look but adding the wood to the borders and the borders of each square so the end result can be a smooth, clean, dimensional look.  



And lastly, I purchased a light weight, metal automobile themed sign and hung it on top of the checkered look to incorporate more of the automobile theme in the bathroom.  In materials the cost was not much.  What was most costly was my time but all that mattered and still matters to me is that my client ended up being a very happy client at the end of the job and now 💙💙💙 s their bathroom.
So Moms....if you happen to have a son, who just LOVES CARS, and has grown into the "Big Boy" stage and you are not sure what to do and/or do not have much $$$ to do it with, here is an idea!  Just add the details to it after, but at least you have the foundation & VROOM VROOM AWAY WITH IT ALL AFTER


Kids & Chores!


Chores can ONLY HELP our kids!!!

Wondering how many moms give their kids chores?  Do you see any wrong in it or do you think it cannot only help you out but help them too?

Well, I personally see no wrong in giving chores to our kids.  I see so many children that are only stuck to their electronic devices all day long.



You see this in the car, at the table, in the stores, at family gatherings and so much more.  Well, not only do I feel that too many children are just stuck on their electronics but I also believe that many children feel they just deserve it.  Well, that is far from my thought process.  Our children do not truly need these devices.  Yes, they can come in handy at times but not 24/7.  Plus I honestly believe that a parent can use these devices as a reward once chores are completed.  


I see so many parents that have their children in so many sports.  Okay, I am not saying, at all, that it's bad too because I can just think about how many moms will start complaining.  But I do believe things should come in moderation.  Today as a society we have become so distant.  As adults, we are even stuck on our electronics.  It is sad when you hear that texting and driving has killed and hurt more people than drinking and driving.  It worries me quite a bit.  

All I know is that with my daughters, since I have been a single mom for so many years, I have felt that it is important for them to help me around the house.  Even when I owned my boutique in Florida, I had them be with me and help me.  I taught them how to run the cash register, they even created their own Lemonade stand, helped me pass out flyers, tag inventory for me, etc...They saw how hard I worked and then had to come home to continue working.  At home, since they were young, I would have them help me cut the grass but of course with my presence, right by their side.  I have always had them help me clean, wash clothes, etc...




A mom is truly a job that is never done.  I created chores for them at home not only so they can help me but so they can learn.  It is very simple, if they do not help, they will not have privileges.  Meaning no having friends over, no going out, no movies, no phones, no parties, etc...  I feel we need to teach our children that life is not all fun and games and it is not all about sports too.  We have to learn to have a balance or at least try to teach them how to have a balance and Yes, I have my reasons for writing this blog right now.  Lol

Just these past few days, my teen and I have been driving around, finding a dress for her dinner gathering with friends, shopping with her own money, mani, pedi, eyebrow waxing, wanting to always be doing something with the friends...Well I simply had asked to wash the dishes for me the other night. She did not do it as she was on her phone talking away with her friends.  So I went ahead, cleaned up all of the dishes, went to bed, took her to work the following morning and when I picked her up from work and she asked if I was still going to be able to take her and her friends to the mall, I said "No".  Well, Well, Well, let's just say the frown turned upside down, the teenage hormones kicked in as well as the attitude and that was all I needed.  No Friends!  Time to remind her that those are privileges and rewards for helping, because life is not all about fun and games.  I sat down and even spoke to her of why I was mad, why I said that horrible 2 letter word "NO".  I explained how I take so much of "MY TIME" to drive her around, take her to places, shop, allow her to be with friends, for friends to come over, to use her cell phone, etc...and I also explained how quickly it can all be taken away.  Once we talked for quite some time and I told her how I felt, even though it took some time, my words sunk in.  She asked for me to create a list of chores she could help me with tomorrow and what we needed to do.  I was happy because I brought her back to earth and reminded her how in life nothing comes for FREE!


But before she came to her senses, she did cop the attitude and be that moody teen that we, as moms, know and love.  See, this week is her birthday.  She turns the big "17".  She has 2 part time jobs, a checking account and savings account.  I also have her pay a 10% fee which goes towards the gas that I use for her to be driven to work, shopping, etc...  Each of my girls must put a certain amount into their savings and after the 10% fee, that is the money they have to shop, eat with their friends or go to a movie.  BUT the job and privilege of having and using electronics does come at an additional price.  And that price is the price of working in the  house and helping out with the chores.  They must help wash everyones clothes, clean, wash dishes and now are learning to cook with me.  Hey, I will not lie.  I do not have it all figured out.  I too struggle.  I wonder "Am I doing right or not?"  "Am I too hard on them?"...so many questions but I will tell you this, when I sit back and see them, I know I am doing well.  Life has not been easy for them.  Being a single mom and going through a lot in life and even being laid off was not easy but I do not regret any of it as hard as it has been for us all.  We have learned many lessons in life and still have many to more to learn.  

For all of you moms that spend so much of your time with your children out, spoiling them, always supporting them in what ever sport they play...that is great but just think to yourself "would it all even be better if my child has to work towards getting this reward?"  And try to be Honest with yourself.  

Technology has its good and bad.  Good part is that if you are thinking about what I have written now, then Google away.  You can find lists that are age appropriate.  You can find a bunch of different ideas.  You can even find different type of contracts that you and your child or children can sign together and have a binding document between the both of you.  Just a thought.

Here is one of the many lists that I found that can be helpful;

Regular Chores for Teens

  • Vacuum living room, hallways, bedrooms, and stairs
  • Sweep kitchen and bathroom floors
  • Dust living room, bedrooms, and office space
  • Dust ceiling fans
  • Wipe off the washer and dryer
  • Vacuum the furniture
  • Straighten the living room
  • Lint brush furniture
  • Wipe baseboards
  • Clean doorknobs and light switches
  • Water plants
  • Organize drawers 
  • Organize bedroom closet
  • Take care of items for recycling 
  • Take the trash out to the street for pick up
  • Empty the trash from various rooms
  • Cook dinner (leave instructions)
  • Make lunch for siblings
  • Pick up a few grocery items from the store
  • Wash and dry laundry
  • Fold a load of laundry
  • Match socks
  • Clean the kitchen counters
  • Wash the front of the cupboards
  • Empty the dishwasher
  • Clean the bathroom sink, mirror and toilet
  • Shake out area rugs
  • Wash dishes
  • Feed the pet
  • Walk the pet or clean litter
  • Wash the pet or pet’s things
  • Clean windows 
  • Clean refrigerator shelves and door; inside and out
  • Clean out the old food in the refrigerator
  • Clean the toaster, unplug and dump the crumbs
  • Mop floors
  • Replace light bulbs
  • Organize the food in the pantry
  • Sanitize surfaces
  • Clean fingerprints off screens, like TV and laptops
  • Brush the pets outside to reduce shedding indoors
  • Iron clothes
  • Organize the garage
  • Wash the walls
  • Organize bookshelves

Spring/Summer Chores for Teens

  • Mow the lawn
  • Trim the lawn
  • Trim the bushes
  • Help with landscaping projects, like spreading mulch or building a rock wall
  • Weed the garden
  • Wash the car
  • Vacuum the car
  • Clean outdoor furniture
  • Get outdoor items out of storage and ready for use
  • Watch siblings during summer break
  • Gather unwanted items to donate or sell in a yard sale
  • Wash outdoor items, like boats, ATVs, campers, or other outdoor items

Fall Chores for teens

  • Rake the lawn 
  • Blow the leaves off the driveway
  • Help clean the gutters
  • Clean out the garden
  • Clean outdoor items and help store them for winter

Winter Chores for Teens (of course depending where you live)

  • Shovel snow
  • Clean snow off of the car


Work with your teen on identifying a regular chore schedule. Give your teen daily chores, as well as bigger chores to do on the weekends or during school vacations. 
Use chores as a way to help your teen become more responsible, but make sure your teen doesn't take on too many chores. Find a healthy balance that will give your child plenty of time to do homework and have some fun, while also teaching valuable skills of life.  And at the end of it all, they just need to learn that nothing in life comes for FREE! 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Sex Talk with my Teenager!

my Facebook post today!


Wow!  How time flies.  Have missed writing on my blog for quite some time.  Holidays came & went & soon will be here again.  Time for all of us Moms to FREAK OUT!  But Guess what?  I freaked out more, today, when my 16 year old & I were sitting inside my car, waiting on her sister to get out of work & she decided to talk about SEX!


YES!  This is how I felt inside...Lol   But on the outside I was pretty calm or at least it looked like it.

It started out that she wanted to share with me these funny videos of teenagers sharing with their parents when was it that they first lost their virginity and at what age and where.  Then it was quite amusing because the roles were reversed and the teens had to ask the parents at what age did they loose their virginity, with who, where and how many sexual partners have their parents had.  As we sat and watched it together, we both laughed.  We had some nervous, uncomfortable laughs as well as some regular comfortable laughs.

Now I have always tried to have a very open relationship with both of my girls about any subjects.  Meaning drugs, bullying, love, death, money and just about life.  I have spoken to both of them and are currently both 16.  Yes, their is a time they are the same age and are not twins.  They are 10 1/2 months apart and it was not planned, at least not to me and yes, I was on the pill but I had happen to be that lucky 1%.  Lol...  Well today my relationship with my youngest I feel grew stronger.  Once we finished watching the short video and laughed, she then asked me questions as she had both hands underneath her chin, LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME!  She asked..."so Mom, at what age did you loose your virginity?  With who?  Were you madly in love with him?  Where was it?  What happened to that relationship?  Did you think of marrying him?"
And this was how my head felt with all of those Questions. I went ahead, TOOK A VERY DEEP BREATH! PROCESSED ONE QUESTION AT A TIME & HIT HER WITH THE ANSWERS.  As she sat there TOTALLY LISTENING, ABSORBING EVERY WORD THAT I SAID, I began feeling at ease talking to her.  I know that we were both nervous and not sure who was more than the other, but the point was 

WE SURVIVED THE CONVERSATION!  

I explained it all and Thanked her at the end.  I let her know how happy and most of all, GRATEFUL, for the fact that she felt so comfortable and trusting in me that she came to me first.  I explained to her how many friends, at her age, could give her the wrong information simply because they have no clue or can even give her wrong information to see her make a big mistake, fail and so on.  Our Mother/daughter bond grew stronger.  I FELT AWESOME!  My eyes teared up knowing that my little girl is growing up and how scary it is but I must stay strong and continue to try to guide her the best that I can because someday she too might be a mommy and I would want her to have the same relationship that we have and possibly even stronger and try to be as wise as I was today.

So I will not bore you with the more details but I will say this to ALL THE MOMS OUT THERE who are single or not....I know we have a tough job because we must be the disciplinary, the role model, the bond, the friend, the teacher, police officer, lawyer and just EVERYTHING to our children BUT the one most important thing, I BELIEVE & I am no expert, is to just COMMUNICATE, BE REAL, BE HONEST, LISTEN, DON'T GET MAD WHEN THEY ARE COMING TO YOU & TRY TO GUIDE THEM THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE AFTER TAKING THOSE LONG DEEP BREATHS AFTER A CRAZY, UNEXPECTED QUESTION.

I wish you all the best of luck!  And I will get back on track and keep on sharing my stories with anyone who has the interest to read them because I think as..

MOMMIES WE ALL NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER & SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER & HOPEFULLY LEARN FROM ONE ANOTHER ON THIS ADVENTURE WE CALL "MOMMY LIFE"